I CAN'T SAY IT WAS A CRAPPY YEAR. AFTERALL, I'M STILL HERE AND I LOVE IT!

As 2013 is nearing the end, I stop to reflect on the events that took place in my life, and those that didn't. 

I can remember so clearly January 2013, taking a moment to sit with myself and write my goals for the year. I was certain they would all be met. Then April came around and my list was no where to be found. She was somewhere by herself on a long forgotten notepad. Perhaps it became a coaster for my morning coffee cup. Although not in my presence and maybe in a rubble of scrap writings I tend to collect, she was always on my mind. I knew what I had written months before. The Chinese I was going to learn, the keyboard; yeah, yeah I was going to learn the keyboard, and those stubborn last 10 lbs - they were gone.

Then came July. Crap! JULY! My long-lost list, no where to be found. She was so powerful in January. She had electrified me, beamed me up and made me feel invincible. But I had put her aside to handle life. You see, I couldn't foresee what was ahead. I didn't know what I would experience in 2013. I had it all planned out! But, there were other lessons for me to learn first - I guess.  Like how to handle a career that is on fire and successfully keep your 24 year marriage alive and well and the children, the reason for life, how to make sure they feel your love and presence - for my husband and children I am most thankful. And, how to handle friends that let you down. How to handle the piercing words that are shot at you like a fiery dart by the ones you thought to be the closest to you. How to accept that you aren't as great as you tried to be in others eyes. That all your efforts, weren't enough to some.

Then there was the graduation ceremony.  My little girl, the one I cradled in my arms- graduating from high school, and that boyfriend break-up (oy vey), and my son getting engaged to be married (faints)! Or losing my gallbladder! What the heck? My gallbladder?!!

I didn't know this year was going to be the year I would learn to let go of others expectations of me, to not just acknowledge, but to accept others opinions of me; their perception of me. I didn't know this was the year I didn't call back. I didn't text back. I didn't know I was going to have to dig real deep to find my dignity. I didn't know I was going to have to learn to stand up proudly and say, "this is me, and in me, I am proud."

I found myself this year. Not that I didn't know myself before. I did. I passed that stage. I'm talking about the "me" that says, "so what, I am who I am!" At all cost. And those who chose to take a seat in my train, must do it with love, compassion and a desire to wish me well. I'm on the other side now, and it feels great!

Life has a way of putting you through a dryer cycle but I know that God is in control. I've trusted him since I was 11 years old. There wasn't a day I didn't pray. I was in constant communication with the Man upstairs. I knew he had my back and I knew I would pull through the upsets.The lesson: Always rise above your situation. Always know that God can see you through and most of all, never give up on your dreams.

January 2013 held many promises then, but today, I realize although I set those goals, I wasn't ready yet. I still had some clearing out to do.

It's November now. Did I meet some of my goals? Of course. Will I transfer the ones I didn't meet to 2014? Of course......

LIVE THE AMAZING LIFE YOU ARE ENTITLED TO!

(This is an article I wrote for the website Heal My PTSD with Michele Rosenthal)

The word “difficult” is not big enough to describe how tough it is to divulge my deepest pain. If my book WAR DAD wasn’t going to help thousands of women and girls that are affected by soldiers with PTSD coming back from Iraq and Afghanistan, I would have never told my story. 

Currently more than 100,000 American troops are in Iraq and Afghanistan. An estimated three hundred thousand are living with posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Nearly a third of our soldiers develop serious mental problems three to four months after coming home. Many soldiers live with PTSD, amputations, mental and emotional instabilities in silence. About one-third of children of deployed American soldiers are at risk for developing psychological problems, mainly due to high levels of stress experienced at home. Many wives of veterans report experiencing more acts of family violence. This proves that there is secondary trauma to the family, especially the children. I was one of them.

 When my “WAR DAD” came back from Vietnam, he was violent, angry, volatile, psychotic, a drug addict, a woman beater, a womanizer, a criminal, and a danger to me, himself, and, most of all, society. It’s ironic how we never hear about this stuff on the evening news.

At a young age, I knew my life was not normal. I knew that I was going to have to overcome this trauma or it would destroy me and my life. Although it wasn’t me suffering from PTSD, I still had to learn how to overcome the pain that is associated with being a daughter of a sufferer.  There was a point when I had to cut ties with my dad for my safety and sanity. I had to search deep down into my soul and discover the strength that God offers each one of us. And through that strength and constant reassurance that everything was going to be fine, I survived.

The good book tells us that we are all deserving of a great life. A life filled with joy, peace and wonderful things. I believed that and I had to get it. There was so much in life I wanted to do, so much I wanted to see and experience. I knew that if I hung onto the past I would be crippled for life. I’ve seen it happen to so many people. So I decided to take control. I made a choice to erase the past and take on a new way of thinking. I wanted to reach out to others in need and in doing so, be filled with happiness and joy in my heart knowing that I was not useless.  No one is promised a long life. I’m here to say that we should stop swimming in our own sorrow. We should get out there and help the poor, the needy, and the kids who don’t have parents or who need mentors. We should go anywhere where we can bring hope.

All the turmoil I experienced has made me strive to be better than what was expected

for me. I refused to be a statistic! I know so many people who have always had everything they have ever wanted since childhood, and now they take life for granted. They live their lives making excuses for not achieving their goals. They always blame someone else for their mistakes and misfortunes. We need to believe that we are entitled to a good life, and we should strive to reach that goal. You will never forget what you went through or the pain you felt, but you must live each day unaffected. Erase it from your thoughts! You cannot allow yourself to go there. Don’t carry any baggage during your journey here on earth, especially someone else’s! Fix your eyes on the good in this world. You must live each day as a winner! A survivor! Each day, you must march forward. And no matter what happens, don’t ever look back.

I may not know all things about life, and there are many places I have not yet been and opportunities I did not have, but, regardless, I am sure of one thing: There is an inner strength that God provide for all who want it. It is real and it is what saved me!

Author Bio: JUJU SANDS is a motivational speaker and author. She has spent years providing one-on-one spiritual counseling and concentrates on teaching and coaching women to live an amazing life.  JUJU is currently reaching out to teens in junior high and high schools and bringing her message of hope through a new project called, “The Be Amazing Project” created specifically for the young which motivates them to think bigger and set expectations for themselves.  She is also reaching out to women of all ages and sharing her story of hope in order to create motivation in women to live the life they deserve.

She lives in Southern California with her husband of 20 years, two children, and two dogs.

Visit JUJU SANDS at: www.jujusands.com   www.wardad.com  www.facebook.com/jujusands   www.twitter.com/jujusands

MIDDAY SUNDAY Television appearance

PLEASE WATCH SUNDAY JULY 1ST AT 9 AM ON FOX-KTTV LOS ANGELES. MIDDAY SUNDAY SHOW WHERE I WILL BE A GUEST.

I WILL BE SPEAKING ABOUT MY BOOK WAR DAD,

THANK YOU AND HAVE A BLESSED DAY!

JUJU

Keep your Irons in the Fire!

It’s been a couple of months since I have blogged. I can’t believe how busy life can get. I seem to feel as if it will never slow down and I’m just fine with that. I love life! I love waking up every day and being excited for the good that is to come, for the good people and good opportunities that will come my way.  

Well, I’m finally back on an exercise regimen. I have been walking 6 miles a day and I feel great! Two of those miles are up a big hill. By the time I reach the top I can barely breathe. The payoff is walking back down and enjoying the fabulous view of the valley. I can see all the trees, homes, buildings and if I go out really early, I get to see the lights go off as the sun rises. It truly starts my day off on the bright side. It makes me so grateful for my life. I know there is so much going on in the world today but I really believe that people can change their lives if they would only see the good in it. God is so beautiful when you allow HIM to walk you through life. It is when we decide to leave HIS plan when we mess it all up.

I remember when I was in high school and my friends were drinking and staying out all night and how I slowly began to follow. I left the plan that I knew would bring me success. As time went by I began dating the wrong guy. He began using drugs and boy did he change! He became physically abusive and I was so afraid of him! I was too young for that life and I didn’t know how to get out of it. It left its scars on my life but I was determined to get back on track. I failed to see the good that was in my life at the time. I lost sight of my goals and dreams. I should have stayed the course and….well, no need to look back now.

Although I’ll never forget what happened to me, I can now use my experience to reach out to teen girls and speak to them about choosing to stay in HIS plan. I can teach them how to keep their “Irons in the Fire.” 

Many of you have read my book and know that that story is just one in my life. I am so thankful for God’s forgiveness. He restored me, my life, my heart and blessed me with a wonderful husband, two fabulous kids and two dogs. 

For that I sing this song by Teena Marie as I walk my six miles. (I changed some words to fit me.  I wonder how loud I’m singing. Oh well, the neighborhood will know me as that weird lady that sings as she walks….)

People say I've got my hands in too many things
Keeping time with paupers just as well as kings
I toss my head up to the silver sky
And then I say, look at all the blessings in my life

Here I am trying to make a change
Born into this world, going against all odds

I close my eyes and still somehow I feel
You're here with me, and you are such a blessing in my life

Here I am, I'm just a fragment of my God
Heavenly father, hear me
Sometimes life gets so hard
With you as my desire
Spirit's gonna build me higher
I've got to keep my irons in the fire

Irons in the Fire by Teena Marie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtRENjqkdQ4

OUR KIDS ARE UNDER ATTACK

My goodness! January went by so fast and now I find myself well into February and just getting to my blog. Where do the days go? LOL!

February seems to be a volatile month here in the US and around the world. Lets begin with Egypt. WOW! The power of the people! My heart goes out to those mothers whose children were out there protesting and getting hurt. Seems that our children, this generation is more outspoken than my generation ever was. Brings back memories of our history books about the 60's. I wonder what's to come? As for the United States, while there is a lot going on in the political arena, I can't help but notice more-so what is happening to our people; our children.

The headlines about that homeless guy Ted Williams was intriguing huh? What an amazing streak of luck! That is, until I saw the interview with Ted and his children on Dr. Phil. His kids, his girls cried about how much they needed him as they were growing up. They needed a dad but he never showed up. Men don't realize how much a little girl needs her daddy. The dad is the male role model in that little girls life. Unfortunately (and perhaps fortunately) girls grow up to choose the same type of father they had - as a husband. It's like we are drawn to what we know. I may be wrong and I am sure you will let me know, but that is what I have witnessed in my years.  Then we have Miley and Charlie! Oy Vey! Billy Ray goes on the air yesterday and says that The Hannah Montana Show ruined his family. Um, okay, he is the dad, the leader of the home, shouldn't he have known this already? I mean, he is in the music industry. He is, after all, the iconic "Achy Breaky Heart" singer. Come on - he know what the industry has the capability of doing to children. I pray Miley will turn to what she knows to be true and that is that the Lord is always there; waiting with open arms.
Now as for Charlie, ay Dios mio! Such a handsome fella but so dang messed up in the noggin! I don't even want to waste my fingers typing about him. Lord have mercy is all I can say. But the best headline came out today on Good Morning America. The teacher who blogged about her unruly kids. Now she is on paid leave!! Here is some of the story:

FEASTERVILLE, Pa. – A high school English teacher in suburban Philadelphia who was suspended for a profanity-laced blog in which she called her young charges "disengaged, lazy whiners" is driving a debate by daring to ask: Why are today's students unmotivated — and what's wrong with calling them out? "My students are out of control," Munroe, who has taught 10th, 11th and 12th grades, wrote in one post. "They are rude, disengaged, lazy whiners. They curse, discuss drugs, talk back, argue for grades, complain about everything, fancy themselves entitled to whatever they desire, and are just generally annoying."

Why is this lady getting so much heat for the speaking the truth? I am in the high schools everyday and it is true. Our kids now days are so ill-mannered. There is a lack of respect for adults and/or authority. If a teacher is blogging about it then there must be some sort of truth to what she is saying. Just check out Dr. Phil one week. He does so many shows about wayward kids.  Here is my truth. I believe that our kids are under attack. I believe that the American family is under attack. I believe that marriage is under attack. You see, if evil can destroy our marriages, our families, our homes, then evil can get access to our kids. Access to our kids = destruction of our future world, destruction of morals and standards which God has instilled for us to try to live by. When I say to you parents to "show up for your kids, " I really mean it literally. Know who their friends are, talk to them about sex and drugs, take them to volunteer in a homeless shelter or a shelter for battered women, teach them how to respect themselves and others, don't use foul language in their presence (or at all for that matter), be interested in their homework, be involved in their day, have Sunday dinners as a family at a dinner table, set the dinner table, cut the texting to a minimum and none after 8pm, make them earn the money you give them, check their grades, check their rooms and most of all, keep them in a bible teaching church that has an active youth group. Even if you don't go to church, drop them off at one (of course after you inspect it.)  Listen, we only get one shot at raising our kids. If you mess that one shot up, you will spend the rest of your life suffering the consequences of your actions. A parent is suppose to build up the child and then hand it back to itself.

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

I hope you enjoyed a little of my babble. Remember, I am not a writer - I'm a blogger who is always in a hurry. Feel free to post a comment.

Have a great week!

Juju~