I CAN'T SAY IT WAS A CRAPPY YEAR. AFTERALL, I'M STILL HERE AND I LOVE IT!

As 2013 is nearing the end, I stop to reflect on the events that took place in my life, and those that didn't. 

I can remember so clearly January 2013, taking a moment to sit with myself and write my goals for the year. I was certain they would all be met. Then April came around and my list was no where to be found. She was somewhere by herself on a long forgotten notepad. Perhaps it became a coaster for my morning coffee cup. Although not in my presence and maybe in a rubble of scrap writings I tend to collect, she was always on my mind. I knew what I had written months before. The Chinese I was going to learn, the keyboard; yeah, yeah I was going to learn the keyboard, and those stubborn last 10 lbs - they were gone.

Then came July. Crap! JULY! My long-lost list, no where to be found. She was so powerful in January. She had electrified me, beamed me up and made me feel invincible. But I had put her aside to handle life. You see, I couldn't foresee what was ahead. I didn't know what I would experience in 2013. I had it all planned out! But, there were other lessons for me to learn first - I guess.  Like how to handle a career that is on fire and successfully keep your 24 year marriage alive and well and the children, the reason for life, how to make sure they feel your love and presence - for my husband and children I am most thankful. And, how to handle friends that let you down. How to handle the piercing words that are shot at you like a fiery dart by the ones you thought to be the closest to you. How to accept that you aren't as great as you tried to be in others eyes. That all your efforts, weren't enough to some.

Then there was the graduation ceremony.  My little girl, the one I cradled in my arms- graduating from high school, and that boyfriend break-up (oy vey), and my son getting engaged to be married (faints)! Or losing my gallbladder! What the heck? My gallbladder?!!

I didn't know this year was going to be the year I would learn to let go of others expectations of me, to not just acknowledge, but to accept others opinions of me; their perception of me. I didn't know this was the year I didn't call back. I didn't text back. I didn't know I was going to have to dig real deep to find my dignity. I didn't know I was going to have to learn to stand up proudly and say, "this is me, and in me, I am proud."

I found myself this year. Not that I didn't know myself before. I did. I passed that stage. I'm talking about the "me" that says, "so what, I am who I am!" At all cost. And those who chose to take a seat in my train, must do it with love, compassion and a desire to wish me well. I'm on the other side now, and it feels great!

Life has a way of putting you through a dryer cycle but I know that God is in control. I've trusted him since I was 11 years old. There wasn't a day I didn't pray. I was in constant communication with the Man upstairs. I knew he had my back and I knew I would pull through the upsets.The lesson: Always rise above your situation. Always know that God can see you through and most of all, never give up on your dreams.

January 2013 held many promises then, but today, I realize although I set those goals, I wasn't ready yet. I still had some clearing out to do.

It's November now. Did I meet some of my goals? Of course. Will I transfer the ones I didn't meet to 2014? Of course......

MEMORIAL DAY 2012

My name is Juju and I am a daughter of a Vietnam Veteran. 

Today is a very special day because it gives me, it gives you, it gives us, a chance - as a nation, to remember our fallen heroes. Memorial Day, although a great day for family get-togethers, BBQ’s, parties, celebrations, is more than that;  it’s a day that we should include into our celebrations the remembrance of the sacrifices made for us, for you, your children for because of our fallen heroes, you are able to enjoy this day in celebration, in full freedom without fear of attack. 

As a little girl I remember walking the streets of ELA with my dad looking for his next fix. You see, my dad, my War Dad, came back from Nam addicted to heroin and while my dad didn’t die in Vietnam, he returned unable to live a normal life; he was unable to be a father to me or a working citizen. He was addicted to heroin and I witnessed his self- destruction, I witnessed a person lose his spirit and slowly die after the war; he was dead on arrival. 

The horrors of what our soldiers endure at war are unimaginable to me, the post- trauma they come home with, if they survive, can also lead to a slow death.  

So, you see, Memorial Day encompasses more than just a nice BBQ - to me - if not for the fallen who lost their lives, if not for men like my dad - the ones who came home and continued to suffer until their death,  I wouldn’t have the freedom to enjoy a church service, I wouldn’t be able to speak freely, I wouldn’t be able to sleep soundly in my bed at night and for that I ask you today, before you enjoy that BBQ, before you sit for a meal, before you lay to rest tonight, take a little time to give thanks to almighty God for your freedom, say a prayer for a fallen soldier who carried your freedom and for those whom he/she left behind. 

You see, Memorial Day is alive and running for as I stand here today, we are still losing soldiers.   Don’t let their sacrifices get lost in a meaningless day of the month - because as their bodies are returned to their families, you and I are enjoying our freedom. 

May God bless you and your families and may we always be “One Nation Under God.” Thank you.

COME AND MEET ME IN PERSON

SUNDAY MARCH 11, 2012

I'LL BE SPEAKING AT:

WATER OF LIFE COMMUNITY CHURCH - YOUTH SERVICES

7623 EAST AVE, FONTANA, CA 92336

SERVICE TIMES ARE 8:50 A.M. 10:30 A.M. AND 12:10 P.M.

BRING YOUR YOUTH GROUPS, TEEN GROUPS, DAUGHTERS AND SISTERS!

ONE AMAZING GIRL

Once there was a girl.... and she was unique and talented and interesting and amazing and unforgettable....and real. And she knew, deep down, that if she tried something and things didn't go as she had hoped or wanted or dreamed or planned, she could just try something different or try the exact same thing again but approach it in a new or different way.

Then one day, her greatest hopes and dreams actually became true........

And her life was full of all these amazing and unforgettable moments and events and circumstances: incredible wins, of course, but also equally incredible-and worth it- losses. Because no matter what happened, she learned from everything around her and everything she went through. 

Yes, she fell sometimes (like everybody else does), but she got up and moved forward by always being true to herself....

And maybe one day she will even make a path for others to follow...until they can make their own paths, too.

You see, it is not that she was never frightened or sad or even knew when she woke up each day what to do (no one does). It was simply that she believed in herself and always shined on like a star...

And you too can be One Amazing Girl - if you just believe in yourself~

Juju

(Adapted from Blue Mountain Arts)